Rural resilience is one of the basic attributes of the rural giant system, and the construction of the research framework of "defense-absorption-renewal" based on resilience genesis can provide a new research perspective for the study of the sustainable and coordinated development of rural resilience system. Through scientific measurement and analysis, the coupling and coordination characteristics between the three subsystems of rural resilience defense-absorption-renewal in Heilongjiang Province and their dynamic response process are of great significance to enhance the ability of rural system to cope with the complex and multiple external perturbations. Based on the county data of Heilongjiang Province from 2005 to 2020, the entropy value method, the coupled coordination degree model, and the PVAR model were used to characterize the spatial and temporal pattern and dynamic response process of the rural resilience system of "defense-absorption-renewal capacity" in Heilongjiang Province. The spatio-temporal pattern and dynamic response mechanism of the coordinated development of the rural resilience system in Heilongjiang Province are characterized by the entropy value method. The results of the study show that: (1) the coupling and coordination levels among the defense, absorption and renewal capacities of the subsystems of the rural resilience system in Heilongjiang Province as a whole show a low level. Most of the county units are in the stage of mildly imbalanced, on the verge of imbalanced, and barely coordinated. (2) The high value of coupling coordination is mainly concentrated in the flat topography of Songnen Plain and Sanjiang Plain. County units close to the main urban areas with more developed economies also show a high level of coupling coordination. (3) The increase in the coupling coordination level of the rural resilience system is the result of the joint action of the three subsystems of defense-absorption-renewal. The degree of contribution to the improvement of the coupling coordination level varies greatly among the subsystems, showing that the renewal capacity is the strongest, the defensing capacity is the second strongest, and the absorbing capacity is the weakest. (4) The enhancement of the renewal capacity subsystem has the most significant response to the coupling coordination level of the rural resilience system, which is the primary goal of realizing the balanced development of the rural resilience system; the degree of influence of the defensing capacity and absorptive capacity subsystems is smaller, which is an important support for realizing the balanced development of the rural resilience system.